I Guess This is What "Eating to Live" Means

I am always thinking about food these days since I am am trying to shift from eating what I crave and for taste and enjoyment to eating bc it's just fuel. I'm on the clean eating path and the meal prep path.

Perhaps my biggest accomplishment is that I've stopped eating out when I work. I've always had this one big food pet peeve and it's cold lunches. (well, cold food in general) I just don't like food that could be warm but is cold. I also do not care for salads. So I always opted for getting a hot meal for lunch. I also have odd food anxieties: what if I don't want to eat what I brought? (happens often) what if I like what I brought but I didn't pack enough and I'm hungry for the rest of the day? (I am not a snacker)

But this project, I committed to bringing my lunch. And breakfast, too for that matter. I did allot one SBUX coffee and the new Protein and Greens drink by Naked. BUT THAT WAS IT. This was killing me because here I am, in North Carolina, surrounded by BBQ and I simply cannot indulge in that every day.

That was mid April. I've kept it up until now. And it was easier to do than I expected. I think this also had to do with my goals to eat as much vegetables as I can possibly stomach.  Dinner was a bit of a different story, I probably averaged 80/20 cooking to eating out, and that's because I found my favorite family style pho joint that I went to at least once a week.

I am currently using this Coach Calorie 4 week meal plan as a guide for how to eat the same thing every day. I really like it because it doesn't list very many salads.

I'm basically just cycling through proteins and eating kale and spinach and a sweet potato. The veggies are the healthy part, the potato is to make my stomach feel full, and the protein is my 4-6 oz of enjoyment.

I admit, I do feel properly filled, not full, after these meals. As in, I'm not hungry for hours after eating like this, so by the "don't eat for enjoyment" books, that meal did it's job.

But lately, I've been missing that feeling of enjoying what I'm eating and that pleasure of feeling satiated. None of these meals ever came close to that feeling of, "yes. that hit the spot." much less that, "oh my god, that meal was amazing, I need a minute to enjoy this afterglow" that something like tureen of foie gras or a proper fried catfish po-boy will elicit.

Does this mean I'm a food addict? I mean, it's my only vice left. I've given up everything else that makes a person feel good. I guess I'm going through withdrawals. I feel like I'm the Trainspotting of changing eating habits.